So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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