The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
