yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
