i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
