my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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