You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
