Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
