My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
