What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
