a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
