I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
bring money and cleavage
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
