her vagine was all disorganized.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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