So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
