At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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