Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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