Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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