Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
