I can text with my tongue
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
