I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
