I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I believe in your delicious
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
