Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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