all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
