Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize