She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
