i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
