So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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