sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
