Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
