Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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