you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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