awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize