So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
false alarm, still single
Randomize
