Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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