as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You peed on a flamingo?!?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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