at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
