do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
