took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize