Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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