He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
