Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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