MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
