guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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