grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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