4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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