you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just gift wrapped bread.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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