i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
