This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
