Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
