Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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