I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I think your dad took our porno
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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