I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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