i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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