Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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