well you can't waste a boner
I wish i was in the wii world.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
