Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
