This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
