SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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