Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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