at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
