I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
