He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
