i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
