have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize