so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
