And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
