come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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