Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
