Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
