Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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