Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
