Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
foreskin is a definite game changer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
