All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
