There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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