can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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