if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
