I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
