It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
