Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize